Thursday, December 16, 2010

5Experts: ‘Death Tax’ More Deadly than Gout, Polo Injuries Combined

McConnell, Boehner to tour Aspen, Greenwich on death tax devastation tour
By Deanna Swift
WASHINGTON, DC—A new study confirms what the richest Americans and their allies on Capitol Hill have long suspected: the so-called death tax is more hazardous to the health of the nation’s wealthy than gout, which has been linked to excessive consumption of port wine, or injuries suffered during polo matches. The research, based on surveys of obituaries run in such papers as The Rancho Santa Fe News, the Jackson Hole News and Guide and the Chevy Chase Gazette, found that the death tax far surpassed other causes of wealth-related fatalities.
Only silver poisoning, a result of so-called silver spoon related birth syndrome, followed by intermarriage, the practice of marrying among a small group of wealthy individuals, was found to cause any where near the number of fatalities brought about by the death tax.
A savage surcharge
While this savage surcharge on riches was once known as the “estate tax,” over time it has come to be known as the death tax due to its devastating impact on the nation’s wealthy. In addition to the untold numbers of well-to-do who’ve succumbed to this scourge in recent years, as many as 6,600 Americans live in constant fear that they too will fall prey to the toxic tax. Now, at long last, Congress finally appears to have heard their desperate pleas.
Americans fear death tax more than bed bugs, gay migrants
Meanwhile the number of Americans who describe themselves as ‘absolutely petrified’ or ‘scared shitless’ by the death tax is on the increase. In a recent survey, 43% of respondents said that they feared the death tax more than bed bugs, gay migrants or even Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. That marks a sharp turnaround from the last time Americans’ fears were plumbed just two years ago. The previous survey found that the majority of Americans most feared being on the receiving end of unwanted advances from a “hot” elementary school teacher, followed by an accidental plunge from a cruise ship.

Death tax protesters rally on Nantucket Island. Similar protests were held around the nation in Aspen, Colo., and Martha's Vineyard.
A visit from ‘death tax’ widows
In coming weeks family members of individuals who were literally taxed to death are expected to tell their stories on Capitol Hill. Members of the hard-hit families will temporarily lift the black veil that the savage surcharge has lowered onto their lives, allowing elected officials and ordinary citizens a glimpse into this other America. “These are not easy stories to tell,” says a source close to one of the families. “People are suffering. They’re having to scratch and claw just to get the things they need to survive: yachts, granite counter tops, single malt whiskey. We’re talking about very basic goods here.”
Buffett on death tax watch
While relief finally appears to be in sight, the healing balm may not come soon enough for some of the nation’s wealthiest citizens. Elite watchers are said to be keeping a close eye on several prominent Americans who show signs of that they could be on the verge of succumbing to the death tax before any kind of deal is inked, protecting their vast fortunes. One likely victim: Warren Buffett, the investor, industrialist and philanthropist. Observers have reported that Mr. Buffett has been acting increasingly irrationally in recent years, making statements and staking out positions that have little basis in reality.
What sacrifices can you make in order to help free the wealthy from the scourge of the death tax?

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